I'm on a journey to find health and happiness through a more holistic and green lifestyle.

I find the world to be abrasive. =) That is to say, I feel the need to armor myself, physically and emotionally, in order to face life. Don't we all? Maybe. For whatever reason, it has become a priority in my life to rid my immediate environment of irritating things. And I'm sensitive! So there is much work to be done. But. I have thought for a long time that the things I come in contact with every day, and the stuff used to clean and maintain these things, need to be gentle and non-toxic. I have had eczema my entire life. For a long time I just dealt with it, and accepted that sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not, and that it will fluctuate a lot. Gradually over time I have come to find that certain things, fabrics, cleansers, materials, are more irritating to my skin than others. Stress can exacerbate it. In more recent times, I have realized that every aspect of my life improves when I improve conditions for my skin. Hah! What a concept! Thus my (long time) interest in going green, and my more recent desire to live a more holistic lifestyle. (I think I've felt a desire for a long time to live in a harmonious way with myself, my surroundings, and nature, but didn't have a name for it.) Anyhow, this blog is a journal of my trials and errors, and basic crooked path to find a balanced and peaceful existence for myself and my family. Thanks for your interest! I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Backslide?

I feel like junk. Sort of. I started this whole journey toward wellness because I was feeling sooo depleted, and was feeling unhappy. I'm not feeling as bad as I was then. No, not nearly. But I have slid back over the last few weeks from the progress I had made. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Some thoughts:

I am very inconsistent with my diet. I eat very well for a meal or two, then purge on something not-so-good. For some reason, even though I had not touched them for a few weeks, I craved Doritos the other night, and have been eating heartily of them since.

Hubby and I have taken about a week off from exercising. This was due to illness and travel. We did exercise this morning.

I am TIRED. This was my main complaint, all the time, when I started this blog. What I don't quite comprehend is that when I was feeling better, it didn't seem to be quite as debilitating when I was tired. I was still pretty content. I could tell a couple of weeks ago, when I first started feeling really tired again, that it was one of the cycles where I just get more and more fatigued to the point where I pass out with the kids early, whether I want to or not. And staying positive and go with the flow becomes harder and harder. I feel as if I've slipped backwards, and I'm not sure why.

Despite all this, the Clinical Nutritionist I'm seeing weekly at the Natural Health Improvement Center informed me last week that I am improving. Hm!

My skin is starting to itch, which really hasn't been much of an issue lately. My son's skin is looking worse.

I am drinking more coffee. Another sign that I am in a fatigue cycle.

And  my mind is very heavy with my friend's diagnosis of breast cancer. Hell!

I realize that good health is a journey, not a goal. And so I move forward, one step at a time.

Hubby and I tried getting up early to exercise, because it has become hard to fit it n at the end of the day. (Partly due to the kids staying up later with the new evening/bed time plan) I told hubby that I'd need to go to bed earlier to compensate, which pretty much eliminates any evening time we have together. There are just not enough hours in the day! Today we got up an hour earlier than usual, and I grumpily made my way downstairs. I may not have had quite the pep in my step that I do in the evening, but darn it, I did it. The kids woke up during the workout, but were content enough to sit on the couch and watch.

I'm trying to do better with food. I am very lazy in this department, but I realize that I cannot improve (skin, general health, mood) if I don't try. So I'm trying to shop better, so I can't cheat at home. It's slow progress, but I want to keep trying. And doing it for the kids' sake makes me more motivated.

With the milder weather coming, we're spending more time outside, which is always good. Gotta get away from the tv and computer!!! Sucks me in.......

And my friend? I'm thinking about what kind of hats I can make her to wear as she faces chemo. But dammit, I'm still feeling angry about her diagnosis. Dammit.

Slugging along.

7 comments:

  1. Awww. *hugs*

    Hey. My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer too--just a few weeks ago. Maybe we can brainstorm some hats we can make for them? Or if you have a good pattern, let me know so I can see if it would work for mom.

    As for the other stuff---try to remember that things change and change and change as we get older. Give yourself some room to adjust, and remember, with small children, EVERYTHING is harder. You are trying to make many many changes in your lifestyle and often everything you want to do doesn't fit into a day.

    Perhaps you can sit and write down the MOST IMPORTANT stuff that you want to accomplish, and how to do it, and then prioritize your day around those things--if you haven't already.

    Anyway, Dais--big hugs and message me somewhere if you wanna talk about your feelings in regards to your friend's diagnosis.

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  2. Thank you, K. You are right, sometimes I have to be more patient. Not something that comes so easily to me. I allow myself to get disappointed and discouraged, and that doesn't help anything. Thanks for your encouraging words.

    I am sorry that your mom must face this. My mom did, too. I would LOVE to work together on the hats. That would be great. I don't have a pattern yet, but will begin my search. I also intend to look up a group I used to participate in. It's called Angels For Hope. People all over the country crochet angels (and other cute things, but mostly angels, I think) and by email they receive the names of people who are either sick or are caring for a sick loved one, etc. An angel is mailed to them. Neat. I'll send you the link if you're interested.

    Hugs to you, K.

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  3. Yeah, that would be totally cool.

    Hey, you know, I heard that chemo patients also get cold while they are having their treatments. I'm thinking of having Sky help me make one of those fleece tie blankets for my mom, and I made a few neck cozies (I posted one to my blog last week) and I think I'll give one to mom. Do you crochet at all? If you do, I can send you the link--it's really easy and crochets up really quick.

    Ok--I'll take a look around for hats too. Do you have my email addy?

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  4. Dais, Read your blog and I think you are way to hard on yourself. Hope you aren't forgetting to smell the roses on your venture. Think of you a lot. LJ

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  5. A good reminder, LJ, thanks. I think of you often, too. =)

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  6. Daisy-

    You're awesome!! Chin up, girl... you're doing great.

    So sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis. Just an awful, terrible disease, but your friendship and thoughtfulness will be a ray of sunshine in her otherwise dark time.

    :) Melissa

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  7. Thanks, Melissa. Now I'm singing the "Chin Up" song in Charlotte's Web. Hm. =)

    I'm still angry about M's diagnosis. It offends me! But my anger will not change anything, so I need to turn that energy into positive energy for her sake.

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