There are ways of being beautiful that have nothing to do with what you wear, how you style your hair or anything that the eye can see when you walk into a room. It's a way a person presents him or herself. A manner of communicating. Of using your ears to hear and your eyes to see what kind of space another person is in, and communicate accordingly. Tact.
We are all human and we all say stupid or unkind things from time to time-but hopefully we catch ourselves and make it right.
But for some reason it's much easier to remember the hurtful things that are said to us than the kind things. That is very true for me. I'm sensitive. If someone says 10 kind things to me and one very hurtful or confusing thing, for years the hurtful comment will live in my head and when I think of that person, the unkindness pops up with the image of the person like a giant out of style hat.
It does no good, other than the decompression that can come with venting, to complain about the person, and it's a waste of time to expect the blunderer to mend his evil ways, so the only helpful thing to do is to take the experience as a lesson in how not to behave myself.
And it gets complicated. I try to treat my children with the respect that I would hope they give to and expect from others. So what do you do when someone is disrespectful to them, or to you in front of them? Let's face it. We're not always going to be a walking example of exemplary behavior. When someone is a jerk, my desire is to let them know they've been a jerk. Helpful or not!! But I try to explain to my kids that it is natural to get angry or hurt. It's what you do with those feelings that matters. And wow. When someone is unkind and I'm able to maintain my dignity and continue to be respectful (while asserting myself, too) well, that's a gift.
My parents used to compliment us kids when we were tactful. It stayed with me. I'd like to do the same for my kids. Because after all, beautiful is as beautiful does, right?
(Though damn it does feel good to rip someone to shreds even if I am alone in my car at the time!!!) =)
How to wrap
2 years ago