I know this is something that every parent goes through, and each finds his/her way of handling these situations. It's fairly new to me.
My daughter has made great friends in Kindergarten. She has gotten especially friendly with one little girl. It seems that this girl, who I'll call Libby, kind of took my shy daughter under he wing. DD told me several times at the beginning of the school year that "Libby is mean, but not to me." Fast forward to the beginning of this week, mid-January. DD has gotten to be very friendly with several of the other kids in her class by this point. DD tells me that she doesn't like Libby anymore. She says that Libby is mean to the other kids, and she likes the other kids. I commend her for sticking up for them. So a couple of mornings ago, DD's teacher reports to me that DD has bonded with another student in the class. Great! I respond enthusiastically to the teacher. Then the teacher informs me that Libby is feeling left out as a result and is feeling sad. She, in fact, trying to physically wedge herself between the other two. I tell the teacher what DD has told me, and also tell her that despite all of this, DD still asks to do things with Libby. "Oh good," says teacher. "The relationship is salvageable then." Are you kidding me? think I. They're 5!! They'll be over it in a day and move on most likely. I don't say this. My big dilemma is whether to discuss this with Libby's mom. We have visited with the kids and each other a couple of times, and we've gotten kind of friendly with each other. Would it be good to give her a head's up? Or would it cause more stress than the situation warrants? Or more intervention than is needed? When do you leave it to the kids, or really to the teacher, to deal with? I can, and have, spoken with DD about it, but honestly, not at great length. I think it's admirable that she has chosen to steer clear of the conflict ultimately. I don't feel that she's angry with Libby, just choosing to remove herself from the conflict. I think she's managing herself in the situation just fine. Why mess with that? I'm really not sure what the teacher was asking me to do, but I think I've done my part. Do you?
How to wrap
2 years ago