I'm on a journey to find health and happiness through a more holistic and green lifestyle.

I find the world to be abrasive. =) That is to say, I feel the need to armor myself, physically and emotionally, in order to face life. Don't we all? Maybe. For whatever reason, it has become a priority in my life to rid my immediate environment of irritating things. And I'm sensitive! So there is much work to be done. But. I have thought for a long time that the things I come in contact with every day, and the stuff used to clean and maintain these things, need to be gentle and non-toxic. I have had eczema my entire life. For a long time I just dealt with it, and accepted that sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not, and that it will fluctuate a lot. Gradually over time I have come to find that certain things, fabrics, cleansers, materials, are more irritating to my skin than others. Stress can exacerbate it. In more recent times, I have realized that every aspect of my life improves when I improve conditions for my skin. Hah! What a concept! Thus my (long time) interest in going green, and my more recent desire to live a more holistic lifestyle. (I think I've felt a desire for a long time to live in a harmonious way with myself, my surroundings, and nature, but didn't have a name for it.) Anyhow, this blog is a journal of my trials and errors, and basic crooked path to find a balanced and peaceful existence for myself and my family. Thanks for your interest! I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Cut From A Different Cloth

Last night I went out to dinner.

 The occasion was the once-a-month outing of my local chapter of the MOMS Club. (MOMS=Moms Offering Moms Support) This is a group I have been a member of since just before DD was born. For the past year or more, I have continued to pay my dues, but I really haven't participated in anything. Then I received the newsletter, and the current prez. appealed to all members to give some thoughts as to why membership might be down, and to share why some members aren't participating very often. This hit home, and I wondered why I had stopped going. I vowed to get involved again. Fast forward to last night's MNO (Mom's Night Out)

So I went. Only the 2nd one I've ever attended, in 5.5 years of being a member. I was the first one there. I sat at the bar and ordered a beer, and felt foolish. I checked the door about every 10 seconds until two other women showed up, about 10 or 15 minutes later. We sat, and a couple others trickled in. There were five of us total. All of these women were familiar to me-long-timers. So I sipped from the bottle of my Amstel Light, while each of the others ordered wine, asking this question and that question, and referred to the wines as "cabs" and other names I don't remember. I don't drink wine. In fact, I hate the stuff. The reason has nothing to do with the fact that a glass of wine can cost up to $9.00 a glass. Yeah, really. The conversation opened with an exchange between two women about jewelry. I observed, but again, from afar. I wear jewelry. Plastic, for the most part. One bracelet that my daughter made for me for Christmas. Much of the shine and color has faded from being in the shower a number of times. One necklace from a beading kit of DD's. I actually made it, while she made a similar one. It has the first initial of each of our names: JEDS. Like this blog. The "chain" is stretchy plastic, and the beads are colorful block letters and round beads. I also don a Tiffany's heart pendant, a gift from hubby some years ago. I credit these kind women for oooing and ahhing over my blig!!! But it sets me apart, again. I tried to appear interested while they talked about their phases with this type of stone or that company or whatnot. I think stones are pretty, too. But I'm ok with looking at them, and passing them by. We did cover the topic of our kids' schools, something I have something to say about. But as we talk I observe that for the most part, while I have on what I had been wearing all day, jeans and a sweater top, these women had dressed up a bit. Not fancy, but chosen. Oh, and my hair, as usual, was pulled back. There were no other scrunchies at the table. And make up? I haven't worn it in years and years, and I am not likely to start. =) I'm not crunchy. I just don't care about all that. It's not rebellion, just indifference!

I ended up enjoying myself, and was proud of myself for going... All the others were gracious, and one was sweet enough to give me a hug before I left. =)

I still always end up feeling that something is inherently different about me. Like my X-chromosome is chipped or something. It used to upset me a great deal. Now it's just an observation, and a reminder. The fact is, it's my attitude as much as anything else. I see the differences, and do nothing about it. I want to be accepted and have friends, but not enough to start to wear blahdeblah-style jewelry and those cute boots or whatnot. So I realize that it's just a matter of being me while allowing others to be themselves, and going with it. Right? If I want to belong, I've got to GO to the outings, and BE at the play dates. So what if I don't have the gift of gab, or know anything about the current clothing or hair style, or the latest fitness fad. There are lots of kind people who will work to find a common interest with me if I am willing to work at it, too. And so. Time to make an effort. Not to change myself, but to allow myself to be me with other people and be ok with that.


  1. Dais,

    At our age, we are finally getting to be comfortable in our own skin. It's time for teenaged angst to be gone! Before we know it we'll have our own teens to worry about.

    I like the last thing you said, "There are lots of kind people who will work to find a common interest with me if I am willing to work at it, too. And so. Time to make an effort. Not to change myself, but to allow myself to be me with other people and be ok with that." You don't need to change yourself- physically or your drink preference. A change in attitude will make all the difference in the world. I wish I was upstate with you. I think we'd be really good friends!


  2. I know how you feel:) Sadie and I are very alike, we are drawn to men/boys. I have very few women friends, many male friends. But, I've been accused many times in the past of being "after" someone else's husband,and it's destroyed more than one couples friendship. It is RIDICULOUS. I don't flirt, but these women ass-ume that because I find that I have more in common with the men, and hang around with them at parties, that I'm "after" them.

    For a long time I felt like you did, you said it perfectly, "X chromosome was chipped". But then at PJ's preschool I found women who were just like me, and we clicked instantly. i didn't have to try, I didn't have to feel like I was forcing myself out of my comfort zone to fit in and make friends. We're always so quick to think it's us...sometimes it's not. Maybe you just haven't met the moms like you yet. I hope for your sake you do soon, because it makes all the difference in the world. Suddenly I was like "wait...I CAN make friends, it's NOT just me!" Wonderful boost to the old self-esteem:)

  3. J: You made my day. I wish you were here, too.

    S: I can relate. I am glad you found some cool people. I have, too, but they are usually far away for too busy to spend much time with me. So I reach out online, and that helps a little. It would be nice to have some folks to go out with, too. It's so nice to feel accepted and comfortable with other people.

    Thanks guys.

  4. I love you just the way you are, Daisy!! I feel like you A LOT of the time. Sometimes I do want to be more girly and appearance-conscious, but then I, too, feel like it's not (or that it shouldn't be) important. I'm conflicted about that a lot, but I must say that when I do get a new outfit or have my hair done, it makes me feel good. So there's something to say for fixing ourselves up, ya know? However, most days I'm just a mess, and I'm ok with that!!

    Hopefully I'm one of the "girls like me" you mentioned- I'd be honored. :-)

  5. Melissa, of all of the people I have met in the state of New York, you are my favorite. I am eternally grateful that I met you, and that for reasons I don't understand, you seem to think I'm ok, too. As busy as you are with your family and friends, you still find time for me. I thank you so much for that.

    Once in a great while, I enjoy playing dress-up, too. But don't tell anyone. I have an image to maintain! ;)