I'm on a journey to find health and happiness through a more holistic and green lifestyle.

I find the world to be abrasive. =) That is to say, I feel the need to armor myself, physically and emotionally, in order to face life. Don't we all? Maybe. For whatever reason, it has become a priority in my life to rid my immediate environment of irritating things. And I'm sensitive! So there is much work to be done. But. I have thought for a long time that the things I come in contact with every day, and the stuff used to clean and maintain these things, need to be gentle and non-toxic. I have had eczema my entire life. For a long time I just dealt with it, and accepted that sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not, and that it will fluctuate a lot. Gradually over time I have come to find that certain things, fabrics, cleansers, materials, are more irritating to my skin than others. Stress can exacerbate it. In more recent times, I have realized that every aspect of my life improves when I improve conditions for my skin. Hah! What a concept! Thus my (long time) interest in going green, and my more recent desire to live a more holistic lifestyle. (I think I've felt a desire for a long time to live in a harmonious way with myself, my surroundings, and nature, but didn't have a name for it.) Anyhow, this blog is a journal of my trials and errors, and basic crooked path to find a balanced and peaceful existence for myself and my family. Thanks for your interest! I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Chattering Teeth... (First Day of School Tomorrow.....)

The countdown to the first day at DD's new school has started, and I am anxious! I am trying to act cool as a cucumber, because I want to model a "no big deal" attitude for my poor anxious daughter. To be fair, she hasn't entered panic-mode at all so far. She has done a really (really, really!) good job of focusing on aspects of school without seeming to be freaked out too much. For example, she has bought these two fish, which will go into the classroom fish tank. She feeds and changes their water every day (just a little, fish fanatics, because there is no filter and it's kinda murky) and talks to them. But she has NOT named "her" fish, which is interesting. Each of my kids picked one fish, so DS got to name "his" fish, which he named after one of the cats! =) I asked DD if she would prefer to bring the fish on the second day of school because she will be bringing a lot of stuff with her tomorrow. But no, she prefers to bring them tomorrow, and says she's going to carry them, which gives me some hope...... but I am not fooled by it all. I have seen DD get all the way to school cool as the afore mentioned cuke, then freak with panic once we're in the room. So ....

I know that drop-off will be challenging, and I am prepared to give her a quick pep-talk on the way to school, then drive off when she is collected. (The teachers collect the students from their cars!) I have been preparing for this for months in my head! (Sick, I know) I am a bit worried that I"ll forget something. This child has to bring the usual school supply "list" of stuff. Plus shoes that are just for the classroom. Plus clean gym shoes. Plus a placemat/napkin/napkin ring. Plus her lunch and snack. Plus a change of clothing. Plus a plant. Plus the fish. Yikes! Today I started a list, and tonight I plan to get every possible thing packed and in the car. Last year I forgot her lunch on the FIRST day. Sh*t!!

After drop-off, I then plan to zip over to the Y, which is right in the same complex, and pick up a fitness schedule. Then it's home, to relieve hubby, who will be watching DS. I shall most likely be in a total state of high alert for the duration of the school day. But I will need to be mommy to DS, and that means finding something fun to do, as he will not have DD to entertain him for SIX and a half hours. Gads.

I am grateful that hubby will be here in the morning to help me get through it all.

Tonight I plan to take one of DD's old t-shirts and iron on a picture of her kitty cats. I promised her we'd do this, and it simply hasn't come to be. She did pick two photos today, one of each of them. So I will print those out and put them on a shirt for tomorrow. I am hopeful that people will ask her about them, and she can enter into one of her comfort zones. (What would we do without those cats?!?!)

I feel that DD has come far enough in her self-confidence that she will get through and past this without serious consequences. I hope I am right about that! She does like people a lot, and does like attention. I am hoping that is enough these days to pull her through. It's like a cat who is timidly hiding behind a bookcase, but just can't stand to ignore the string that is being jiggled around just a little bit away. DD's need to connect with people draws her out. She's just got to get over that hump. That anticipation which can cause her to see so many situations as being dangerous and terrifying.

C'mon Montessori, do your magic!!! And as for me, I will be relying on some time outdoors in nature to soothe my weary and nervous spirit. We won't go too far. But I think some time outdoors is key.

Forward, march.

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