I'm on a journey to find health and happiness through a more holistic and green lifestyle.

I find the world to be abrasive. =) That is to say, I feel the need to armor myself, physically and emotionally, in order to face life. Don't we all? Maybe. For whatever reason, it has become a priority in my life to rid my immediate environment of irritating things. And I'm sensitive! So there is much work to be done. But. I have thought for a long time that the things I come in contact with every day, and the stuff used to clean and maintain these things, need to be gentle and non-toxic. I have had eczema my entire life. For a long time I just dealt with it, and accepted that sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not, and that it will fluctuate a lot. Gradually over time I have come to find that certain things, fabrics, cleansers, materials, are more irritating to my skin than others. Stress can exacerbate it. In more recent times, I have realized that every aspect of my life improves when I improve conditions for my skin. Hah! What a concept! Thus my (long time) interest in going green, and my more recent desire to live a more holistic lifestyle. (I think I've felt a desire for a long time to live in a harmonious way with myself, my surroundings, and nature, but didn't have a name for it.) Anyhow, this blog is a journal of my trials and errors, and basic crooked path to find a balanced and peaceful existence for myself and my family. Thanks for your interest! I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Day 2 of School - The Anxiety Wave Spreads Out

My dear daughter had a good day yesterday, but I knew that didn't mean we were out of the woods as far as her anxiety (and mine!) was concerned. Mama knows.

So this morning, the alarm clock goes off, and DD reached for me immediately. I collect her and we head downstairs. Alarms were obviously going off in her head as well. I brought her to the couch, and started through the morning routine of going through everything in the house that we could make for breakfast. DD finally settles on seasoned black beans. I make them, and put them on the table. I call both kids (DS got up very shortly after DD) to the table, and looked at DD. I've seen this look before. There was no way she could come to the table. The very idea of food was making her physically sick. (I have been through this sensation many times in the past, part of my anxiety) I told her to stay put. She says she needs to eat something mild, and chooses soup. We don't have any that appeals to her, so hubby offers to head to a nearby convenience store. He comes back and prepares chicken noodle soup for her. I am now helping her to get dressed, and starting to get in to race-against-the-clock mode. DD gets up and starts to head for the bathroom. She asks me what would happen if she threw up. Then she did so. Despite my predictions and directions to stop moving and take deep breaths. Ugh. She barfs on the floor. Then moves to another part of the room, and barfs again. UGH. She then anxiously starts saying that kids who throw up need to stay home from school, right? I told her that we needed to try school today, and if she was sick, I would come get her. Hubby comes along to deal with the floor as I scoot DD out the door. By the way, DS has managed today much better than yesterday. I explained to him at some point during the morning that I would once again be taking DD to school, and asked him what games he would be playing with Papa while I was gone. He was relaxed and understanding of the situation this time. He commented that I "always take DD to school." I explained to him that after today, he would be coming with me to take her to school. He is also starting school next week, and I"m sure all of this is a bit confusing to him! But he's dealing a-ok today.

Anyhow, she self-talks all the way to school, and asks me (a bit ritualistically) to tell the teachers that she threw up, and to call me if she throws up again. Okokok I say. I drop her off, inform the teacher who was waiting at the curb, and in she went. She looked back at me, I blew her some kisses, and she waved. Poor sweet little thing! Can't wait for 2:50pm.

Now I"m off to take DS to his school, where he has a play date today.

Onward and onward.....

1 comment:

  1. Poor Erin! I hope she finds a way to soothe herself when she gets that anxious. And I hope her day gets 100% better.