I don't have anything particular to write about. I just sort of feel like rambling on about this and that. It helps me to sort it all out.
I remember when I was in high school, I used to go up to visit with the school nurse, who was a really cool lady named Joyce. (I have never met a Joyce I didn't like, now that I think about it) She was just one of those people who would ask how you are, then keep asking questions to keep you blabbering. By the time the conversation was done, I always felt .. well .. somehow more organized! I always imagined this disorganized, messy bookshelf that had gotten tipped over. When we were done talking, the book shelf was straightened up again. I think she was in the wrong field. =)
Anyhow, occasionally I just feeling like "straightening up" by blabbering about this and that. So here goes, in no particular order.
*School starts next week. My neck is in an almost chronic state of tightness because of this fact. DD sways between "I told you, I am NOT going to school" and being excited by some aspect of it, such as the fish she has been invited to bring to add to the classroom tank. Her tension comes out in other ways, too. She has to know where I am ALL the time. She asks me all the time where I am, even if I am in the next room. She has to tell me when she is going to use the bathroom. She complains about belly aches a lot, especially in the evening as I go to take my evening "break" of one hour, which is nearly always in the house, upstairs. She has started to go through a ritual with this, telling me her plan of action if she does get a belly ache. It's the same each time. I have seen her develop rituals in the past. It gives her comfort. Personally, I look forward to the first day being over! (Not to mention the first week...) I hate to wish our lives away. But this is a tension that will be nice to have behind us.
*I am still tired absolutely all the time. I don't know what the hell to do about it except to deal. I know I need more recharge time. It ain't easy. I could push it, and probably should. But DD's anxiety issues make this hard, and hubby's quick temper with DD does too. More exercise would certainly be a good thing. But other than my one hour evening break, and the occasional weekend breaks, I am with the kids all the time. If I start to exercise in front of the Wii, they join in for a few minutes (great!) then take over. Today, which the kids were playing outside, I got on the trampoline. My dear son, usually so sweet, told me to get off, it is THEIR trampoline! Wowow! =( My diet sucks. That's another thing I could change. My biggest desire would be to have more friends. That's what it always comes down to. I am a people-person, and I am simply happier when I have people around me. I have huge stretches of time without other adults, and it makes me depressed. People are always saying that yeah, we should get together, but no one ever initiates with me. And I get tired of doing all the inviting, ya know?
*I love sewing. It makes me happy. I've always loved creating things, but this is the craft that has stuck with me the longest. It brings me a lot of happiness. So I do it a lot.
*I am happy that fall is coming around the corner. I really dread winter. But I love the fall. That boosts my spirits a little.
*My skin continues to improve with my current supplements and essential oils. That is wonderful. Just wonderful.
*I have mixed feelings about DS going to school this year. I know he'll love it, and that's why I did it. And I cannot WAIT to have some me time. I am long and desperately overdue. But I will miss him. He is my baby. After him, no more babies. Sad.
*Hubby feels the pressure of our expensive lives. He wants me to start bringing in income, as soon as I can. I want to, but I also want a little time to get myself back from the abyss that I feel I live in all the time now. And I don't know what to do for work. He sometimes says it would be helpful for me to work with him, and sometimes implies that it wouldn't work. I hated my former work. I want to develop a website for those with serious diseases, to help them find the resources they need. How do I do this and make a living at it? I am starting to look in to this. But I'll probably need something more reliable for a while.
*I need something(s) to feel excited about. I wish I knew where to start.
My "break" is ending.
How to wrap
1 year ago