6:30 a.m., the blasting alarm gets hubby flying. Literally. Across the room to turn the obnoxious thing off. A minute or two later, darling boy and I get up. About 7am, we collect little girl from bed. Oh, she looks tired. Poor thing. To the couch they go. And on goes the tv.
I gently move around, getting things done. I make myself some toast, and offer to make something for DD, "when you're ready." The kids are watching a Leap Frog "educational" dvd about alphabet sounds. DD periodically tells me I can make her something to eat "after the B." Then, "after the M" then "after the W" and so forth. In the meantime, I bring my toast to the couch, and DS asks for some. DD immediately turns green and starts coughing. She just can't handle the concept of food. Still way to anxious. And yet she wants to eat before school. Hm. She informs me that she has a sore throat, and makes a feeble argument for staying home today.
As the time approaches 8 a.m., I start to get the kids dressed. DD and I had previously discussed her not wearing a pull-up to school any longer, but maybe using a pad of some sort, if needed. (Ya do what you have to do, we're talking the difference between anxiety and panic attack here) I informed DD that I have not had time to make any pads yet, but I had a paper substitute she could. Unexpectedly, this resulted in her bursting in to tears, saying she could NOT use a paper one, and needed a pull-up. I informed her that she would not be using a pull-up. At this point I decided to tell her that her teacher had suggested to me that she not wear them any more, and I told her the teacher's reasons behind that. She absorbed this information for a while.
After getting DD dressed, she informed me that she wasn't in the mood for a dress (unusual) because she didn't like the idea of having to mess with it to get to her pants. Ok. (Mama is started to get agitated at this point. I'm not a terribly patient person, and this is starting to get on my nerves...) I race around, watching the clock, and find her another shirt in the dryer. She agrees to wear it, and we change her shirt.
I am then grabbing shoes and socks and stuffing them on the kids. It is officially time to go. Then, as we're walking out the door, DD announces she wants to use the bathroom. I am officially irritable and impatient at this point, and I tell her to "Go!" Of course I then feel bad for barking at her, and once she is clipped in the car and ready to go, I apologize to her and explain that part of my anxiety manifests in extreme anxiety if I think I/we might be late. This applied to most any situation. I hate to be late. (As a result I am often early, and end up sitting around waiting)
We get to school, and I explain to DS how this works. I don't want him freaking because he can't get out of the car. No problems there. On the way, DD had gone over and over and over with me what I am to say to the teacher who meets us at the car. That she had a sore throat this morning, and if she has to go to the bathroom and they are outside for recess she will tell this particular student, and so on and so on. Okokok. We greet the teacher, I give her the messages, and my daughter is on her way in, again.
Fast forward to 2:50pm, and DS and I are once again parked at the curbside, next to DD's school. She comes out, smiles when she sees us (I love that) and walks toward the car. This little girl looks beat. She is walking slowly, her face looks almost sleepy. For one thing, she hardly ate a thing from her lunch box. I'm not sure why, but she told me that she wasn't in the mood for her sandwich, didn't like the cheese, etc and so forth. I attempt to feed her, but the fact is, she is not hungry. She is calm for the rest of the day, and goes to bed quickly and without argument. She was tired. I told her, twice, how very proud I am of how she has faced her first week of school. And I really, really am.
How to wrap
2 years ago