Ever since I tried nursery school with my son, about a month ago, he has been a different kid. Mind you he went for TWO days, and seemed to enjoy it for quite a while before hitting a wall (figuratively.) He did leave both days crying and upset, but I think that was from being tired and overwhelmed with the length of the class, not the activities or expectations. He did well both days until hitting that proverbial wall. But he views it differently. He says he hates school. And his experience with it has changed his opinion about other things.
Today I had my heart set on taking him to a new program at the Children's Museum. He likes the Children's Museum, and has asked to go there a number of times in the past. But today he did not want to go. In fact, he pleaded with me not to take him. What the?? I think it was the idea that it was a "program." But he has reacted this way to other events as well. We were invited to a neighbor's to play last week. We got all the way to the time we were ready to leave, and that was it. He dug his heels in. He begged me not to take him! I explained that it was just to a neighbor's to play, and we could leave any time we wanted, and he would probably know some of the kids.... nope. He did NOT want to go!
DS was not like this at all before trying school. He has never been shy, and still isn't. He is outgoing, unafraid, and confident. He is like this with adults and kids of all ages. So I don't know what's going on. Of course, kids all go through phases of being more or less shy or worried about separation from parents. That's all normal. I guess I worry about it because of DD's anxiety issues. He is not like that at all. It is very likely, however, that he picks up some cues from her, and that some of his reactions are influenced by her. An example of this is in the evening when I take an hour to myself. This is something that occurs every night, and has been in place since DD was little. It is part of our every day routine. DD goes through phases of accepting my being away for the hour, and phases of being anything BUT ok with it. As a general rule, DS is not disturbed by my brief absence, and takes it very much in his stride. But when DD is in full blown anxiety mode, he becomes upset, too, and goes through brief periods of panic when I am getting ready to leave the room. Keep in mind, I don't leave the house most of the time, I just go downstairs. And about five minutes before the hour is done, both kids are yelling down the stairs.
Anyhow, so at the moment, my leash is short. Even with DD at school for 6.5 hours a day, I still juggle the fallout from the anxiety that we all live as a family. I guess I need to put it in perspective, and writing about it helps me to do that. I can't over react to his age-appropriate anxiety. I have to figure out a good balance between gently encouraging him to be brave and get out for fun programs (that I attend with him) and following his lead with genuinely needing to be home and quiet.
How to wrap
1 year ago