Nothing Nothing Nothing

I have had nothing to say. Nothing. Not one inspiration. I think of it as my "maintenance" phase. At the voodoo center (as I call it - the Natural Health Improvement Center) a client goes through an initial period where the person's treatment is figured out, then the maintenance phase, then the something else - I forgot. But blog-wise, I seem to be in a maintenance phase.

So I guess I'll just update on things that are going on with me.

My biggest challenges at the moment are: Finding time to exercise. Really. I have tried to exercise to the Wii during the day with DS, but after an initial interest that lasts about 1 minute, DS wants to me turn it off with "I don't like this game!" Sighs. Hubby and I have not exercised together in weeks. We were doing it at night after the kids go to sleep, but I'm simply too tired for that. I'm either falling asleep with the kids, or spending about 30 min. with hubby then conking out. So the best I am managing at the moment is to try to exercise in the back yard when I can convince DS to go out. While he plays in the sand box, I jump on the trampoline. While he wanders around the yard, I jog after him. It ain't much, but it's something!

Another challenge is finding time to re-bond with hubby. We really don't spend much time together without it being "family time" which means we may be in the same room, but we're both completely engaged in some child-related something or other. We try, periodically, to get out to dinner together, but with two babysitters who are both very busy people, it doesn't happen often. And at day's end, I'm simply too tired to be much company. I used to stay up every night to watch a Netflix or whatever with him, but I get so tired I can't stand myself anymore, so I simply can't. I know that after a few days or a week of staying up with him I'll be cross-eyed. I do it anyway. Otherwise I don't see him at all. Ak! Then a night comes when I fall asleep while putting the kids to bed. I can't help it! Sighs. And so.

One area that's been challenging but in which I am making progress is diet. I am trying. I am eating better breakfasts. I am trying to cut out sugary crap cereal and that kind of thing. I'm trying to replace "nutrition" drinks for the kids with smoothies with all the goodies in them. I have been snacking less at night. Of course, being asleep helps with this. :/ I am finding that as I make better choices, I crave better things. That's not always true. After a week of eating well, sometimes I purge. Yesterday I had a burger for lunch with fries............ and last night I was snacking on popcorn and chips..... BUT, it's a process, and I want to eat well and feed the family well. Last weekend I planned out the meals for this past week. And it was great. I love having a plan and having all of the ingredients on hand. It makes things so much easier. It's a pain...coming up with meals and a shopping list and all....which is why I fall off the wagon with this....but when I can get myself to do it, it's great. So I did it again this weekend. And when I do it, hubby sometimes gets into the act, and plans his meals. Cool! So, onward with this goal. Onward.

But overall, I'm doing well. I'm no longer the grouch that I became when I was so depleted. I'm not yelling these days. I hated that me. I'm still not back to ever feeling rested, but I can see that on the horizon. Finally! And so on. So that's it. My maintenance phase. =)

12 Pills

I realized the other day that I take 12 pills a day. Twelve pills every day! How did I get to this point? Well....

Vitamins - I take them, as many do, to supplement what I eat, for good health.

Calcium - I read, more than a decade ago, about how taking calcium supplements can help women reduce bone loss as they age. Many women suffer from osteoporosis and related issues after menopause due to bone loss/reduced calcium absorption. I've been taking it ever since. I used to take one tablet a day until my dear midwives suggested I increase it to two per day. I did so about six years ago.

Vitamin D - At a recent visit with my midwife (for general woman care) she suggested I increase my intake of vitamin D. I take one a day.

Fish oil - I have thought for some time that I should take fish oil for the coveted omega-3 fatty acids. I don't eat fish (tuna once in a while...) so I started to take these recently. When I found out that most fish oil supplements contain PCBs, I stopped. I found some the other day at Whole Foods which claim to be PCB-free, so I got them. The bottle suggests two capsules a day, so that is what I take.

Lact-Enz - A probiotic recommended for me by the Clinical Nutritionist I see at the Natural Health Improvement Center. I take 3 a day.

Dermatrophin - Another supplement recently added by the Clinical Nutritionist at the NHIC. She told me that this one is to repair my skin (I see her for eczema/skin issues) I take two a day.

Wheat Germ Oil - Also recommended by the CN at the NHIC, this one gets squirted into my belly button. I know, I know, I think it's weird, too!! I do this once a day.

Yeah, it's crazy. Cave people did not do this. And every time I do any research on foods and health I get another person or group's opinion as to how to eat to treat yourself the best way you can, and they all disagree with each other. So is the best thing to do to eat everything in moderation? To cut out sugar? Fat? Carbs? What? I have no idea. But I'm giving the NHIC a chance to prove, or disprove, their take on things. But it is sort of funny. Hubby jokes that with all of these pills, I shouldn't need to eat!

Whole Foods (the store)

There is no Whole Foods market near where I live. But there IS one near where my father lives. So every time we visit, we make a trip to Whole Foods. And drop a BUNCH of money. Every time I get a new "assignment" from the Natural Health Improvement Center, it means a trip to a store which sells natural supplements and the like. We have one near us, but it's just fun to go to Whole Foods. They have everything you could possibly want for getting healthy, and stuff you didn't even know you wanted until you saw it.

This morning, we went. Oh my. $140.00 later, we came home with two bags of stuff, including a bottle of PCB-free fish oil supplements ($30.00), organic flax seed oil, which was recommended by the Clinical Nutritionist I'm seeing ($6.50), a 14.6 oz. bag (not big!) bag of protein powder, also recommended by the CN, (!!$22.00!!), Topelo honey, recommended to replace sugar in coffee/tea, ($9.00) and so forth. Yow! The protein powder really through me for a loop. I thought it was expensive simply trying to buy organic produce. The healthier I try to be, the more broke we get. Yeesh. And this is all on top of the supplements I purchase directly from the Natural Health Improvement Center. And the essential oils. I hope it's all worth it.

 

I think it is.....

NRT - 4/7 appt.

Today both DS and I had an appt. at the Natural Health Improvement Center. (NHIC) I told them a while back that I wasn't sure I was going to keep DS as a patient. I figure he'll benefit from whatever improvements I make. They agreed, but have him coming once a month. Ok. So Aimee saw us both today.

She asked me how I'm doing. That is a rather general question, but I told her that I have some difficulty with eating well. She wanted to know when I have the most trouble with this. I told her that after the kids go to bed I watch tv and eat junk food. The fact is, this is a nightly routine for me, and I eat a LOT. I am just as happy with healthier foods much of the time, but I eat what I can grab. So I grab Doritos, chips, and other wholesome things. =/ So she directed me to eat less bad stuff. She also asked me what else I could be doing while watching tv. I sort of jokingly said "knit." She then wanted to know where else I  had trouble with foods. Try everywhere and every meal. But what I said was that I could use some direction with recipes for breakfast. She wanted to know exactly what our schedule was in the morning, what time we eat, and who is there. I told her that DD does not eat at school. She concluded (as have I) that DD needs the best nutritional start to the day that she can get. I told her that we've been trying smoothies with some success (not too much, but some) and she suggested adding protein powder. Ok, easy enough.

She asked me if I've been giving DS the 1 daily Lact-Enz supplement she recommended last time. I told her I hadn't been. She blah-de-blahd about how healthier eating is good but is not enough....blahblah. Ok, I agreed to try it this time. And I meant it.

She did NRT testing (pushing my arm down while touching different areas on me and on DS, and while I/she held various bottles of supplements.) She told me she was putting me on another supplement to begin the "healing" process. This one is called Dermatrophin. Twice a day.

She said, after testing us both, that we are improving. I do see a difference in our skin, but who knows what is doing it. Maybe the NHIC is helping us. Maybe the essential oils are helping us. Maybe the nicer weather is helping us. Probably all of these things are working together to help us. Right now we're both having good skin days. Subject to change!

I tend to forget things that Aimee said as I"m writing my updates, but I'll add stuff as I remember! But that was the gist of it. I go back next week, DS goes back next month.

Processing

Last night I woke up during the night with my head filled with sadness and fear. I had several emotional experiences crossing paths at the same time. Why my head chose to process all of these things last night I don't really know. But there it was. In the night I decided (as I've done before) that I should let someone professional help me process all of these things so that I can move forward with a clear(er) head. Then daylight comes, and I talk myself out of it again. Here's what passed through my head:

My mother's passing. I still can't say the "d" word, though my head can think it now without making me want to fall apart. Progress. And that only took 9 years (almost.) I accept the changes that has brought to my life. Of course. I have had no choice. But there are things that bring up sadness in me. Having kids makes me wonder what I was like as a baby, as a toddler, as a little girl. Was I like either of my kids? I would love to know that. I would love to talk with my mom about being a stay-home mom. It would be really neat to bond in that way. My father doesn't remember. And of course he had a different relationship with us kids than my mom did. I also have some unresolved issues with her. Who doesn't have unresolved issues with someone who has passed? But I was angry about some stuff, and perhaps with more time that could have been resolved. I also would simply have loved for her to know my kids, and vice versa. It ticks me off no end that the kids know the other grandparents so well. It just doesn't seem fair. But I am so very glad that they know and love my father, and vice versa. But for reasons I don't quite understand, he doesn't like to come up here. He will, once in a while. He comes for the kids' birthday parties. But he literally will come up, stay for the party, and leave. Driving 3 hours each way. Once in a great while he'll stay at a hotel over night, but it's still a really quick trip. It's weird. Anyhow. So I've got some issues there. And my father just turned 89 years old. Damn time!!

Then there's my friend's recent diagnosis of cancer. That really freaked me out. Really. Freaked. Me. Out. It scared me. It somehow really hit home for me how vulnerable we are as human beings. Suddenly I was scared to death that I had cancer. I felt so scared for her! And I think it brought back some stuff from my mom's illness. Awful. Just awful. And doing as much as I could think to do for my friend has not really relieved my fear and sadness. I did what I could think of to help her, then she informed us what her cancer was. I read about it a bit, and I was sick to my stomach all over again. I feel helpless, and it's terrifying.

And my relationship has some strain. Nothing too serious. But it's there, and it makes me sad. It's totally due to our lack of time together without the children. But they are little, and my older one is very anxious and very attached to me. So I'm with them all of the time. Yes, this time will pass, but it's tough on our relationship. Our friendship. He is tense from trying to balance work and home. He gets frustrated with our messy house. Our daughter's tendency to insist that I help her with things and not him gets him down. And so forth.

It's all tiring, and it's all coming up probably because of M's illness. It'll restuff. I look forward to it restuffing. And I think it's evil that it visited me in the night. But perhaps writing about it helps. So thanks for letting me share. Here's my stomping it all back in. STOMPSTOMPSTOMP!!!!!

Phew.

Advertise My Stuff through HMN? (sewing)

Crazy Daisy is thinking again. Uh-oh. I am a member of the Holistic Moms Network, a nation-wide group of, well, holistic minded moms. Every year, this group has a big conference in NJ. I have never been to it, but am very hopeful to be able to attend this fall. I have been receiving emails about it recently. One such email listed ways for people who sell items that might appeal to the holistically minded to advertise their businesses. There are a few ways, but one particular one got my brain moving. A person can pay ($75.00) to have certain items placed in the "goody" bags that each participant at the conference will receive. Now because these folks are environmentally minded, no paper (including business cards) is accepted. (How cool is that?) But people can put logo items in, such as pens, magnets, and so forth. And that got me thinking that I could do something like that with my shop's email address on them. And of course that would mean that I would have to stock the shop with something that such minded folks would be interested in. And THAT got me thinking about ideas such as........ a Go-Paperless Kit. I would, I figure, have to stock the shop with kits that cost something. I'm not going to be able to repay myself for the up-front costs if I'm selling individual items at a low cost. That would take a lot of sales. But if I put together kits that maybe cost $50.00 each, or a variety of kits, ranging from $25.00-$50.00 or more, perhaps I could make it work. Hm. Am I nuts? There is something to lose here. For one thing, money. I could lost the cost of having the items placed in the bags. I would have to order them, of course, and mail them, too. Then if I had any sales, it would take a few to break even, then start to earn. And so forth. So it's a bit of a risk. However, I also have the regular Etsy shoppers to market to. And I have ways of promoting my shop around too. I dunno. It's also a lot of time commitment, and history has definitely shown that I lose interest in making the same item over and over again. However, that is what I had planned to do with fleece hats for a fall craft show anyhow. So. Hm. Maybe the thing to do is to take a month or two, make up a couple of kits, and see how easy it would be to make a bunch up before October. Or maybe I'm overdoing it. Maybe I should make a kit or two and see how they fare in the shop, before I invest a bunch of money in advertising something that won't sell. That feels like the place to start. I've got time. If they do well, I can proceed from there.

It keeps me moving.

2010 - April Plan- RESULTS

Purge Plan: Kitchen Purge #2 - Glass purge

During the month of April, I purged NOTHING from our glass stash. On May 5th, I have pulled a bunch of spice bottles (glass and plastic) out of the cabinet, combined some, and simply got rid of some that we've had for a bunch of years.

Green Plan: (From Easy Green Living by Renee Loux)

>Get a low-flow toilet, or make your existing toilet low flow:

Already had.

>Don't be a drip - fix leaky faucets and toilets:

Hm. I have one to fix. I'll call today.

Holistic Moms Green Plan: Breast feed. Whelp, I don't need a month to work on this. I have been nursing for 5 1/2 years, and we're still going strong. =)

I haven't done well in the area of PURGE in April. Perhaps I can renew my efforts for May. Hmmmm...